END OF SUMMER BLUES

It's that time of year. Summer is on the way out, and fall is fast approaching. Yay. Still, I'm feeling a bit sad today because summer IS just about over...and once again, it has passed with no vacation or short trips or anything that slightly resembles some time away. Somewhere. Anywhere.

It's my own fault. All I need is a plan, and more still, a willingness to spend the money and go somewhere. I don't know what I'm saving it for. I'm sure it stems from once being widowed so young, and not knowing what the future would hold. And then when I did marry again(the most wonderful man created!), money was something we didn't have a lot of. It was always tight, and we were always putting monies away for the "down season" that could last 3-4 months...or longer...when you worked in the woods. I always tried to keep our budget to where we could exist on unemployment, with maybe just a few hundred borrowed from savings each month, to make ends meet. And once he went back to work, it meant saving again for the next winter's down time. Not much left to play with.

Now he has this wonderful job, and while I'd like to think it will last, as is, until he retires, it's in the back of my mind that it could all change at any moment. I KNOW it can. Been there, done that. And so letting go to spend monies on something as frivolous as a vacation....or a new kitchen floor...is hard for me. I wish it were different.

BLURRY-EYED

All those books I've had come in from the library have me reading like crazy. I have managed to read 750 pages of "Pillars of the Earth" in the last four days. Three hundred pages to go. Five more books await....all due back within 2-3 weeks. My eyes hurt.

HEAVEN

I've had lots of books on waitlist at the library. In the last week, 7 of them have come in...including the huge "Pillars of the Earth." I also have a stack of new fabric I'm anxious to cut into (waiting for the pseudogout to leave my hand).

Books and fabric....it doesn't get any better than this! Bliss.

WHERE DID THE TIME GO?

When you're young, you never, ever think that you are going to be old. But the days and months and years go by, and one day you wake up and .....YOU'RE OLD. Okay. That day has come. On Sunday I will be 60, and I'm ready to admit that I am no longer young. I hesitated when I turned 50, but now there is no denying that I am over the hill. Headed down the slope to those wonderful golden years. What a scary thought.

I've asked my aging aunties several times in the past if they felt their age, and they would reply, "Physically...yes. But mentally, we feel 35." And that is exactly how I am feeling. 35. So, what kind of a joke is that? I guess we have to be mentally young or we could never cope with the physical things that are happening to us. But it really seems unfair to have a mind so willing, and a body so weak.

I have a happy, joyful attitude, and I expect it will carry me through the next 10 years, at least, with a young spirit. I hate to think that I will end up shriveled and crotchety, sitting in my rocker and trying to thread a needle so I can quilt something (something that will undoubtedly have large, crooked stitches, cuz who in the heck can see to do it even NOW?) and not having a lot of contact with the outside world.

I think that's the key. Keeping people....good people....around you. I am blessed with the greatest husband in the world, AND the greatest family. I've got a few good friends, too, and a wonderful church family. All these things will help, I'm sure, to keep me active and involved and sharing the love. That's what it's all about, isn't it? Sharing the love. Giving of ourselves. Keeps your spirit healthy and happy even if the body starts to fail.

So....happy birthday to me! Hope to see you at the party!